


Power

by AlexisLuthor



Category: Smallville
Genre: Amnesia, Car Accidents, Coma, Confessions, First Kiss, Hospitalization, Love/Hate, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2019-12-25 13:25:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18262211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexisLuthor/pseuds/AlexisLuthor
Summary: The beginning of Lex's quest for domination and his understanding of his connection to Clark Kent.





	1. Chapter 1

There wasn't much that Lex couldn't handle. He'd faced his fair share of trials. Everything from kiddnappers and meteor freak monsters to toxic parenting and constant barrages from the media, his employees, and a whole host of enemies.

The one thing Lex couldn't handle though, was the unknown. The first time he'd been robbed of his sanity was at Lionel's hand. His memory had been erased by his father in Belle Reeve and that played a big role in the ease with which Lex pushed his father out of the hundred and fortieth story window of Lex Corp.

The second time Lex had been robbed of his knowledge and understanding had been at his sister's hand. He knows this because the earliest shred of memory he could recover produced his sister's face in his mind's eye.

What she had done to him, he wasn't quite sure, but she had done something. 

There was some critical piece of information Lex knew he was missing. Some shred of insight that he knew he had fought hard for that was stripped of him. It only ignited a fury in his soul that he couldn't put out. He was livid. Confusion was not Lex's game. 

He had a multi billion dollar company to run, endless science and technology ventures to explore and develop, and a world to figure out and protect. Just when Lex had his proverbial feet on the ground, something shook his world anew.

The introduction of Superman.

All red and blue, smiles and waves, cheer and heroism. And the very same fury that coursed through Lex's veins at having his memory snatched from him, freshly ignited. He didn't trust Superman any more than he trusted the meteor freaks. The very fact that one being possessed so much power was terrifying. If he so wanted, Superman could easily take over the city, the country, the world.

He was proof that aliens existed. He was a threat, wrapped in spandex, functioning under the guise of protection, hiding behind a million dollar smile. Women crooned over him, kids worshipped him, and men wanted to be him. 

The focus in Metropolis had always been squarely focused on the Luthors. Now it was tethered to Superfreak. 

The mayor had called for a gathering in Metropolis City Center and the people came to hear her announcement. Lex had come to hear her announcement. And that was the first moment that the world heard the word "Superman" as a tall caped figure emerged from behind her and came to stand next to her.

A pin could have dropped in the crowd it was so eerily silent. Every news station imaginable was there, and hushed whispers died as the mayor explained what Superman was. How he had come to Earth. And what he would do with his powers. She referred to him as the savior of Metropolis, and perhaps the world.

Funny, Lex thought that was his mantle.

Amid a million camera flashes, the strapping alien took the podium. 

"I understand that people will have reservations about me," he spoke, a brown lock falling into his face. "I know that the implications of my existence change life as you know it. Some of you may view me with hesitation or trepidation, but I'm here to tell you that I was raised by human parents. I've been on Earth my entire life, it's the only existence I've ever known and would ever want to know. Above all, I am here to protect humanity. My goal isn't to be worshipped or to be powerful...I just want to help as many people as I can and know that my biological parents efforts to give me life weren't in vain. I want to make the best of this gift of life that I have been given. I'm sure that there will be many questions about me, about where I've come from, about who I am...and I have given an interview with Lois Lane of the Daily Planet to help answer those questions. I thank you for letting me keep watch over this city that I love."

The alien turned to the mayor as reporters erupted with questions. He shook her hand, waved to the crowd, and...flew...away...

The crowd rolled with a gasp and thus began the worldwide coverage of Superman.

Something about him infuriated Lex, perhaps because he was now the biggest name in the world just because he was born with powers - nevermind the fact that Lex had been painstakingly crafting his legacy and forging his company throughout his life. It took three generations of Luthors to become the biggest name in the world, and Superman just...swooped in and took it.

To add to Lex's frustration, there was something naggingly familiar about the flying eyesore. He just couldn't remember what it was. Anytime he tried to reach into his memory and recall what it was about Superman that sent him into a tailspin, he'd get the same crushing migraine that he got when he'd try to remember his life prior to seeing his sister's face. 

It was like waking up...feeling for a dream you just had...and knowing that as you grasped for it, it only edged farther away, disappearing into the ether forever. 

Not that he'd ever admit it, but it scared Lex to think that he may never recall his life prior to a certain date. Luckily, there was the internet and he was a prominent figure - always had been.

Lex's first order of business was getting to work doing research on himself. Maybe if he gathered enough information he would stop feeling like a shell of a human being masquerading as someone who had his shit together, when in reality, he was falling apart at the seams. He'd give anything - his entire fortune even - just to remember everything.

He remembered his childhood with stark clarity. His father's quips and blows. His time at boarding school. Graduating college at 15. Spending time in Europe. Running wild as a late teen - taking every drug available and fucking anyone with legs. But his twenties were a headache-inducing blur. He remembered his father's stern lecture about growing up. Something about needing to learn a lesson. A lesson involving being sent somewhere.

He'd seen the records from Belle Reeve that seemed edited... scrubbed, knew enough to bribe some nurses who had worked there and found out about the shock therapy. He remembered his father's shocked expression as he fell back and down, and down, and down. Knows that he pushed his father to his death but doesn't know how he got away with it.

The world was a mess, Superman was...terrifying...to Lex, and Lex's own life was a jigsaw puzzle that he couldn't piece together fast enough. 

His lonely and amnesiatic existence led to his obsession over Lexcorp and over Superman. Workaholic didn't even begin to cover him, he was a man possessed. He would figure out ways to stop Superman if the alien ever decided he wanted a career in world domination. He would figure out a way to protect Earth that didn't involve relying on freaks. He would bring Luthorcorp to monumental heights of success. He would piece together his past. He would become the leader of the free world. He would go down in history as being the greatest man alive of his time...even if it killed him. Even if he had to kill Superman.


	2. Chapter 2

Unfortunately, Lex's mission to learn more about himself and his missing memories came to a crashing halt last week - quite literally. 

Being involved in a nearly fatal car crash was not going to help his opinion of the Man of Steel. Where was Superman? Perhaps the hero's scope of work only included Metropolis. Lex was close enough, driving South towards the city when it happened in slow motion. Like watching dominoes fall, he saw the car in front of him slam on its breaks and swerve. His highly responsive Porsche followed his orders, but it wasn't enough to stop the catastrophe. 

Despite being outside of the heart of the city, the road was packed, it was raining. But although the highway was busy, traffic never came to a stand still.

And then, in an instant, time decided to stand still instead. 

A smear of red lights flew through Lex's vision. He was snapped forward as his car impacted another. A sick cracking sound rung out around him and glass confetti rained down. After being hurled forward, he was shoved violently back as a mushrooming cloud of white enveloped his chest and face. The car skidded sideways, then was hit by a truck and flung off the side of the road like a toy car. 

Glass and rain and blood danced around Lex once. Twice. Then nothing. His car horn blared. Blood. He could smell and taste blood - feel it trickling down his face. Had the thought that he should call an ambulance, but when he tried moving his body, he was in excruciating pain. Nothing was working right - not his head, not time, not his body. Trying to reach for something, anything, was impossible, like trying to swim in quicksand. 

He closed his eyes, took pained but steady breaths, and wondered if this was how the great Lex Luthor was going to die. As a roadway fatality statistic. 

Where was Superman now?

Fuck Superman. 

That was his last thought before darkness swallowed him up. 

`~~~~~~~~

The hospital had too many sounds and too many smells that Clark couldn't stand. He'd honed his skills a long time ago, but that didn't mean that his nose insisted on picking up the acrid smell of death, the sterile sting of hand sanitizer, the copper scent of blood. People cried, people screamed, chaos was the norm. But he had to come. 

He knew that no one would be permitted to see Lex in the hospital, so he decided to sneak in. It wasn't a difficult task once he memorized the shift changes, scoped out where the cameras were and located where they had moved Lex based on following his familiar heartbeat. 

The walls were mint green and the floor tiles had little specks of gray in them. Stale coffee was a hot commodity here and everything in the gift shop was tacky and overpriced. 

Man, he really hated hospitals. 

It was difficult to wait for the perfect time to visit. It was hard to mill around the giant Metropolis complex. He both dreaded and looked forward to seeing Lex. He needed confirmation that Luthor was okay but he was terrified of what he might see. 

Clark chided himself for being selfish. How could he worry about how he would handle his reaction? Forget him...it was Lex who was nearly killed...and he wasn't there to stop it. The thought made his stomach turn. Ever since the accident a week ago, Clark had laid awake in bed every night, and when he did close his eyes and finally get an hour or two of sleep...his brain conjured up images of a dead Lex. 

Lex reaching beyond the grave asking, "how could you not save me? How is it possible that you've failed me over and over and over?" Or Lex in his arms, lifeless, waterlogged, cold dead lips beneath his. Or Lex crumpled like a piece of paper in his onyx black Porsche, blood rushing out of him as he screamed Clark's name.

Thank God Lex didn't die. 

Clark wasn't in his life at all anymore by this point, but...but he couldn't lose Lex. 

Finally. He looked up at the large clock on the wall and decided that now was the time to speed into Lex's wing. He would stop speeding in a vacated hallway and walk the rest of the way. Having got the name, "the blur" in high school taught Clark that it was dangerous to speed around where there were cameras.

He loosened his grip on the lily's he was presently choking with his fists and decided to gather up his courage and go.

His heart thudded loudly in his ears as he approached Lex's room and slipped inside. He closed the door quietly behind him and set down the flowers on a nearby cabinet. 

There were 'Get Well' cards and balloons and fruit baskets...all of which Clark knew Lex was going to hate, which made him smile.

It was easier to focus on the distractions than on his former friend, pale beneath the sterile overhead lights, he seemed small and fragile and it made something break in Clark's chest. 

He pulled up a chair and sat next to the billionaire. 

Lex's face was badly scraped, bruised, and stitched. He had an oxygen tube under his nose, and his chest steadily rose and fell. And on the opposite side of where Clark sat, Lex's left arm...it was bandaged...and bright red despite it. 

He had...

Lex had...

...lost his left hand...

Seeing it, made Clark stand and begin to pace and try not to hyperventilate. He had heard of Lex's injuries, but seeing them was something entirely different. He wanted to scream and cry and vomit all at the same time. He should have fucking been there! WHY WASN'T HE THERE?! 

A whimper escaped his throat and tears stung at his eyes. His large hands on his hips helped keep him steady until he was ready to return to the chair.

"God Lex, I'm...I'm so sorry," he squeaked out.

Clark rung his hands together and searched for his next words.

"I know the nurse said that you wouldn't be able to hear me...that you're in a coma, but...I'm going to talk to you anyway."

He scooted closer and let out a sigh.

"Last year...I read an article in the paper about...about how you couldn't remember a lot of your twenties because...because of some brain infection? And I...I wanted to call you, to check on you, I just couldn't believe that something like that would happen. And after the article you went on tv and talked about it and did interviews..."

The room was silent except for the beeping of the monitors and the whooshing of air.

"I had thought to myself that this development was terrible and devastating. It hit me that you may not remember anything about Smallville. About our friendship. I asked myself...what if you'd forgotten everything? Like teaching me about religion and physics and philosophy? What if you wouldn't remember what my mom's apple pie tasted like fresh from the oven? Or the times we spent watching the sun set in the barn loft. You cheering me on at the Crow's playoff game, or teaching me how to play pool, or letting me drive your Porsche for the first time," Clark smiled. "Coffees at the Talon, the way the leaves change in the fall, the time...the time I breathed life back into you on the riverbank."

Clark swallowed hard. 

"I almost reached out to you after the story broke, although I'd doubt you'd let my call through anyway if you didn't know we used to be...best friends," the words fell to the floor hard. 

"But then I thought...what if I hadn't made your life better? What if I screwed it up in the first place? Maybe it would be easier if you didn't remember Smallville. All of the good would be gone, but so would the bad," he bit his lip and stared ahead with a longing look. 

"I think all I did was screw up your life," he added dejectedly. "But I miss you so damn much Lex," he let out quickly, as if it were something he could barely admit to himself. "It's selfish of me to want you back, to miss our friendship, to miss movie nights and tutoring and the way you lips quirk when you smile, or your eyes darken when you're deep in thought. Just the way you looked at me, in those early days... you'd wrap your arm around my shoulders, stand close enough that your cologne would cling to me, hell...just the way you drank out of water bottles was enough to give me a water fetish. Or maybe a water bottle fetish?" he chuckled.

"The fact that I was a freak wasn't even my biggest secret Lex," he turned serious once more. "My biggest secret was how I feel about you. It's that I..." god, could it really be this hard to make a confession to a man in a coma? Apparently.

"I have feelings for you Lex. And I try to shove them down and push them away...but I found myself missing you desperately, so I just..." breath, "I should have done better. Been a better friend. Held on to you tighter. Told you that I...that...I love you," his voice faltered. 

Tears spilled down his cheeks that burned red. The entire dam of sobs that he'd been holding in for the past week threatened to burst, so he hurriedly stood, replaced the chair, and walked towards Lex for one last look. 

Gently, he leaned down and kissed Lex's right cheek, the only surface of skin that wasn't marred with angry blooming bruises or tracks of red made from glass. 

He rested his brow on Lex's for a moment. 

"You have to get through this Lex. I love you," he repeated, feeling as if a monumental weight was lifted from his shoulders. 

And then...he walked towards the door, opened it, and slipped out. 

Finally...Lex could take a breath, albeit a shaky one. He wasn't in a coma...maybe he had been...but not now. He heard every single word. 

He was so desperate to see where this was going, especially since he knew that "In Case of Emergency" directions clearly and boldly stated that NO ONE would be permitted to visit him in a hospital setting if something were to happen to him. 

As a kid, Lionel sat him down and made him take a lie detector test. Fucked up parenting 101. Lex spent the next full year learning how to beat them. Hospital monitors were no different. Listen, don't move, focus, keep calm, breathe evenly...so he did...and he kept his eyes closed, and he listened to a...a what? Love confession? What was this a noonday soap? 

Lex blinked, realized he was absurdly thirsty and heavily drugged, and reached out to push the nurse's button. 

But...

It wasn't that the nurse's button wasn't attached to the white remote laying next to him...

It was his hand that was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

The recovery process after the accident was hell. Despite having the ability to heal freakishly fast, Lex now suffered from chronic pain on a daily basis. His physical therapist had pushed him to the breaking point several times, but Lex refused to give up his sense of normalcy. 

 

Maintaining a positive outlook when it came to his physical health became a daily battle. And that normalcy he struggled to cling to was nearly obliterated the first time he tried on a prosthetic hand. 

 

It dug into his flesh and proved awkward and useless. It was metal and the sight of it had people staring at him as if he were a Bond villain. He'd dropped several glasses, and even threw a few against the wall or into the fireplace. In addition to his physical anguish, he remained bitterly angry at Superman, not that he'd ever *allow* himself to accept help or rescue. But still...it was the principle of the thing.

 

Where was the man of steel when he was nearly crushed into a ball of flesh and bone inside his Porsche?

 

\---

 

Before the accident, he'd had a handful of run-ins with the Superfreak, the most recent before the accident was the most important one. The alien destroyed one of his labs, citing it was illegal and inhumane or some shit. There was Kryptonite in the lab and Lex was there when the primary colored crusader came bursting in. The real experiments the lab was doing paled in comparison to what Lex learned that day...that the alien was made weak and sick by Kryptonite.

 

He watched as the being's skin paled, veins turning green as he practically stumbled back and issued a stern but hollow warning before flying away. 

 

The next time the pair had clashed, it was after Lex's accident. Determined to get on with his journey towards enlightenment and domination, Lex thought up a way to test his Superman hypothesis with a ring he had made. It was platinum, intricately carved, and in it's setting sat a cushion cut chunk of Kelly green Kryptonite. 

 

Lex discreetly spread the word about an illegal transfer of funds and waited for the caped super cop to show up. The plan unfolded flawlessly...and just as Superman laid out one of Lex's lackeys, Luthor strolled up wearing all black, as if he was a proxy for the very night itself. His eyes glittered silver like the stars overhead and Superman's gaze widened in shock even as he tried to conceal how sick he felt.

 

The ring glowed like a newly adorned Christmas tree on Lex's finger, and his smile shone even brighter. "It appears that you fell for my little trap," he gloated.

 

Superman's eyebrows pulled together in confusion as his hands went to grasp his stomach. "Wh...what?" 

 

"I set this up," Lex took another step forward. "To test a hypothesis."

 

The alien took some clumsy steps backward. "Wh...what hypothesis?"

 

"That Kryptonite makes you sick," he walked forward, an invisible tether holding him to the other man.

 

If it was possible, Superman paled even further, his golden tan melting away into a green tinted alabaster. Luthor wasn't sure why, seeing this...thing...suffer, ignited a rich pleasure in his chest. Kal-El's eyes darted around, looking for an out, but he was backed up against a wall, between a literal rock and a hard place. 

 

"So what...you want to take me? Experiment on me? Make me your own personal LexCorp drone?"

 

"Hardly," Lex answered, a bit surprised but not showing it. Apparently Superman had just shared his greatest fear with him, but that didn't matter right now. "I just want to ask you one question."

 

Lex took the ring off and set it on a nearby crate. It kept the alien in his place, back plastered to the brick wall, but allowed Lex to move closer.

 

Something like electricity sparked and crackled between the pair, even with Superman debilitated. Luthor was shocked. He'd never had such a visceral reaction to another person before, at least not that he could remember. There was a fire between he and the alien, an attraction stronger than any magnet.

 

It disgusted, terrified, and thrilled him simultaneously. Lately, Lex had gotten used to feeling nothing but confusion and fury...that or the void of emotions altogether. He couldn't even remember the last time he'd felt arousal. 

 

"What's your question?" 

 

His head was cocked, regarding his adversary, and even in pain, that adversary looked like a fallen angel.

 

A breeze rushed by him, fluttering his long jacket like black featherless wings, and broke him from his reverie. Anger returned, swelling in his chest until it nearly choked his breath.

 

"Where the hell were you when I needed you?"

 

Tears sprang up in the hero's eyes and he lurched forward, then back, as if the words were a physical blow.

 

"Lex..." the alien whispered.

 

The single syllable carried with it such anguish and longing that it nearly took his breath away. It fell so naturally from the alien's plush lips, as if it lived in his mouth constantly. Where did this sense of familiarity come from? Lex pondered this question and felt a migraine begin to bloom beneath his skull.

 

"Answer me," Lex snarled through the pain.

 

Kal-El hung his head, "I know that whatever I say...it'll never be enough...to make up for me not being there when you needed me."

 

Lex laughed bitterly, removing his hands from his pockets. The metal hand seemed to collect what little light there was in the night and reflect it off its fingers. 

 

Tears rolled down Superman's cheeks. Lex had no clue that inside of Superman's head was Clark, remembering the first time he and Lex met. Lex soaking wet, lungs filled with saltwater, heart stopped. A car crash had brought them together then, and now it was tearing them apart.

 

"You just figure, let's let the criminals die, right? And that's how you see me."

 

"No...Lex that isn't it," Superman moved forward fractionally and Lex stepped into his space. That bristling energy he'd felt intensified tenfold and it was fucking with his ability to remain impassable. 

 

"Then what is it?" he asked, feeling Superman's breath skating over his face. 

 

Superman's eyes lifted, but his gaze fell away from Lex's face after a moment. He opened his lips only to close them again. 

 

Lex's eyes narrowed in contempt. "Forget it," Lex went to turn, but Superman reached out and grasped his arm weakly. 

 

Some combination of fire, electricity, need and power surged up Luthor's arm, exploded in his chest, and settled with warmth in his groin. 

 

"I was trying to stay away from you," Superman admitted. "So I stayed busy, went to help out overseas."

 

Clark had been so close to just letting Lex walk away, but his secrets are what ruined his relationship with Lex. As Superman, maybe he could have something new with Lex, something not screwed up by half truths. 

 

"Why?" Lex managed through the haze of desperation. "Why would you try to avoid me? You don't even know me."

 

Superman's sad eyes answered with silence.

 

"Unless you do know me," Lex continued. 

 

Fear ripped through Superman's chest, but he tried to shove it down. Despite his efforts, sweat broke out on his brow. 

 

"You shouldn't be so concerned about that," Lex offered. "Even if I did know you at some point, I don't anymore. My memory is a blank slate when it comes to the past decade...so unless we were schoolmates, which I seriously doubt, you wouldn't have anything to worry about."

 

Superman's hand dropped from it's weak hold on Lex's bicep.

 

"Which means...you let me lose my hand and nearly my life...for nothing," he spat. Time to walk away.

 

"No...Lex..." the thing called after him, but Luthor ignored him, picked up the ring and put it on his finger. He felt a different sort of power course through him when the ring was on his remaining hand, glowing.

 

"I'm sorry."

 

Lex turned back around and surged at the Superman, who crumpled to the ground at the alarming proximity to the ring. 

 

"You think I want an apology?" Lex roared, feeling a primal force come unchained in his mind. He reached for the brunette's head and yanked the hair until Kal-El was staring up at him. 

 

"What I want is my hand back. What I want is my memories!" he screamed. 

 

As soon as the words were free, Lex knew he'd screwed up. Superman had nothing to do with his lack of memory. Or did he? He really didn't know. He let go of the silky hair with a shove and savored the bounce of the back of the alien's head against the brick. 

 

Unfortunately, the intense pull he felt towards Kal-El only increased with the physical contact and Lex was hard. What was more surprising is that kneeling on the ground, the alien was hard too. He could see the outline of his erection trapped in whatever foreign fabric the suit was made of.

 

Shit, he could come just from the sight of Superman on his knees, his wide blue eyes glued to his tenting slacks. He watched the alien's nostrils flare...Kal-El was smelling his arousal. Could probably hear his heartbeat and watch the blood in his body travel south and fill his cock.

 

"Why do I have a feeling that you're the one who fucked me up to begin with?" Lex asked.

 

Superman's eyes snapped up to meet his. There was such pain and guilt swimming in those twin blue pools. Kal-El's mouth moved to say something, but Lex was already walking away, rubbing at the ring to keep himself calm, climbing into a jet black Ferrari and squealing away.

 

Superman just sat on the cold dirty concrete and watched the tail lights fade.


End file.
